A Simple Rule…
When I became a therapist, I quickly adopted a simple rule: Always staying within ethical boundaries, do what works. Avoid doing what doesn’t work.
…That Became Very Complicated
For most of my professional life, I have worked with individuals labeled as Severely and Persistently Mentally Ill. This means illness of such severity that the person often cannot function stably in the community. These are disorders like Psychotic and Delusional Disorders (such as Schizophrenia), Bipolar Disorder with Psychotic Features, or Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic Features.
When one of these illnesses occurs along with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (and they often do), this is a devastating combination. Your problems don’t have to be that bad. Everyone should take every opportunity they can to feel better.
What Works
I was amazed at the courage and persistence of these individuals. And I was grateful, because they gave me many chances to ask the most important questions that counselors and therapists can ask; “What goes wrong in people’s lives? How do they get better? What works? Why does it work?”
A Personal Message
You are probably reading this because there is too much pain in your life. But also because you have not given up. Every person I work with is heroic in some way. I believe this. It is important to believe it. But you may not believe this about yourself. Most of us who come to counseling have been told something much different.
I once asked one of my professors, “What should I try to do in the first session?” She said, “You should try to have a second session.”
Research shows that most of us who go for a first counseling session, don’t go back for a second. At least, not till much later. Starting with a counselor is scary, and we often wait until things have gone very wrong, or are about to go very wrong. This saddens me no end.
I am also saddened when I hear someone say, “Counseling doesn’t work. I know. I tried it.” This usually means that counseling let them down in some way.
I find this heartbreaking.
So, over the years, I thought it was important that clients have a sense of empowerment, a sense of their own heroism. I like to see people look at themselves and start to reconsider. Look at the stories of their lives, and start to tell themselves a different story.
I have seen it work again and again.